Written by Pepper.B
My name is Pepper. B and I am the creator of this site you’ve stumbled upon. If you’ve been here before welcome back. I like to mention my disclaimer: I am not a therapist and I am not here to tell you what to do with your life. I am reluctant enough to have experience in various things at my age. I use Pepper Notes as an outlet to voice my views and opinions on various topic inside and outside of beauty. As well as share some of my life;
I woke up one day and realized that life was actually really happening. People around me were having children and getting married and some people were losing loved ones. SHIT LIFE IS REALLY HAPPENING. The moments that I thought about as child that seemed so far away I was actually living. My Life took a drastic change starting the beginning of 2014. I lost my mom I was living in Brooklyn, New York with no other family in my state to call on. I had my childhood best friend sleeping on my couch for about an entire month which she was okay with because I was so heart broken I just didn’t want to be alone. After taking a break from work in order to reset my life which is what it felt like. Giving myself grieving time and time to just figure things out. Bills returned and living in New York, Bills don’t pay themselves. During this period of time I was working a job as an executive in the beauty industry.
I hit the pavement hard getting back into the work life. After spending a year of intense traveling for work with a job that was no longer bringing me happiness. I decided to make some changes. To be honest at this point I should’ve left my job and maybe done something different in my industry or just work with another company. Everything has an expiration and sometimes when we doubt ourselves we make matters worse. I was working with this company for close to 6 years at this point. I decide to switch divisions and honestly this was worse. Initially I thought this would work out amazing. I was living in a different area right outside of New York. I was more local, less travel so I can focus on my personal business on the side as well as home. I ended up in a situation that was bigger then me. I hear people talk about being overwhelmed with work and how it plays a part on your overall life but I couldn’t relate so I didn’t get it. Until this moment.
From the outside looking in it appeared that I was working “The DREAM job” as people would say. We all love the perks and a paycheck but none of this matters if you don’t “fall asleep every night feeling fulfilled” Outside influences such as family, friends and social media train us to hold on to things that don’t make us happy in order to impress other people that aren’t happy. At this point I was working beyond my expiration date. I was reporting to someone who was under qualified and extremely confrontational. Besides that I couldn’t shut work off. I would receive emails all times of the night. Calls on my off days. Fight to breathe because I was spread way to thin. The expectations were way to high for the amount of compensation. If this is how you choose to live your life this article isn't set out to offend you. However when you wake up and realize again. LIFE IS REALLY HAPPENING! You aren’t living out your fullest potential and living a normal life things are passing you by you put life into perspective. No! A normal life doesn't mean being mediocre. This is your life. Your normal life should consist of YOU being able to do things that make YOU happy!
After dealing with these issues in my new division for a few months I started to develop anxiety. I never had anxiety let alone panic attacks. I was so overwhelmed with the work load I had. I couldn’t even get in the door from work and have dinner with my boyfriend without my work phone going off. Just because you are salary doesn’t mean you owe someone your life. I put on so much weight because of my sleeping and eating habits. Getting home really late, eating really late and lack of sleep. I was angry at everyone. I would practically have to throw myself out of bed in the morning. My eyes were strained and bloodshot. I worked in the beauty industry. I didn't even want to put makeup on. This one thing was affecting my whole entire life. My health, friendship, relationships and most importantly the quality of MY life.
I think the most valuable advice I received was in my favorite crystal shop in union square. Which I frequently visit because mediation and healing crystals play a big part of my everyday life. I went to buy some new crystals and items to set my area for meditation because I even stop mediating. I asked someone at the crystal shop “ What can I use to help improve career and issues in my work environment ?” After chatting with him for a while he said to be honest there is no crystal or meditation that can fix this. Some obstacles will push you to break you or toughen you to make the steps for your next chapter that will put you closer to happiness. I went home to meditate and after I had to reset myself thinking. Redirect my energy… There are certain things that are out of your control that you can’t change and that’s okay. Focus on what you can change. Your boss is a jerk and discriminates you that you can’t change, However changing your environment you can.
I used every fiber in my body to take all of my energy and transfer the anger I was harboring from this situation and used it as my fuel to switch my situation. I detached myself from little things that were material that didn’t matter more then my happiness. Detached myself from job perks that didn't matter more then my life perks. When you put your energy into the right places the universe will open doors for you. This won’t happen when you're focusing on the negative aspects of situations. When you are focused on how amazing you are and how powerful you are you received things that are of value. Scaling back in some area’s and weighing what's more important. Is an extra headache or extra happiness more important? All of the perks don't matter if you aren't happy enough to utilize them.
One thing I learned is that in this world there is so much out there. There is ALWAYS something better. You just have to pay attention. What will really improve your overall lifestyle? Money is not always more. Sometimes taking a small pay cut for a less straining job will put you in a position to attract more in your private life. This wasn't the case for me lol. I let go of titles, I find some people keep positions that make them unhappy just for bragging rights. If you can't take that same title and make your heart fell warm at night you are hold on to the wrong things.
Now as I look at my old self and eliminating that one part of my life improved everything so much and I laugh because I should've done it sooner. Only you will know when enough is enough and your ready to give yourself a piece of mind.
Thanks for reading a piece of my peace. Good Luck!
Feel free to post a note in the comments xo